Although they are radically opposite to each other, yet positive and negative people still seem to attract each other. And the reason is not very difficult to understand either. Science has taught us that the opposite poles of a magnet attract, even in batteries the opposite charges connect, so is the way with people. We are all beings of energy, made up of positive or negative charges, and when we connect with the opposite charges, energy flows through us. So naturally we feel drawn towards them.
Now that we know that we are rather attracted to the charge or energy of people then solely them, it is easier to put in perspective how much are we willing to suffer for it. We have a choice to eliminate negative and toxic people completely from our life or we can have them existing on the periphery as long as it doesn’t cost us too much energy. But how do we know who to let go and who to keep close. We scarcely have a choice when it is one of our immediate family members, but what about friends?
A friend that you should be striving to keep should be someone who uplifts you, and makes you feel better about yourself. They will also not back down from criticizing you if it’s necessary for your growth. And above all, they are always honest with you.
A toxic friend, however, is always very hard to please, you can bend over backwards for them and they would still find something to be unhappy about. They demand too much from our energy and sometimes it is just not worth to do it because they hardly ever do it for us. Here are a few suggestions on how you can deal with negative people in your life, if you are not ready to completely get rid of them.
- Be mindful of how much of yourself you give over to them.
- Don’t prioritize them and give them limited access to your time and energy.
- Don’t take the complete responsibility for their well being or happiness.
- If they are rude to you, don’t think that it was necessarily your fault.
- Don’t get in arguments with someone who is not ready to listen to the other side or thinks that he/she can never be wrong.
- You can empathize with them and have compassion but it should never be at the cost of your own happiness and sanity.
- When it comes to dealing with difficult people, you need to know that sometimes you just cannot fix it. They are unhappy because of their own experiences which have shaped them and there is nothing you can do to change that.
When The Negative People Are Family!
When it is your immediate family you don’t have the option to sever ties or even to ignore for long. In such cases, just remember not to lose you cool with them. As explained before, negative people who carry a lot of angst and resentment inside them have been shaped by their past experiences. If you only get angry at them you will make it worse for them and for you.
Try to help them as much as you can but know your limits and don’t sacrifice yourself for them. Try to understand what they are saying, when you talk don’t just listen to respond but to understand. Accept that you would always be the one who’d be doing more work in the relationship, taking care of others. Don’t let it take precedence over your own well being and at the same time don’t go bragging about it. It is rewarding in itself and doesn’t need you to publish the fact that you are a good human.